We're learning about reproduction in Animal Physiology and today the professor kept going on about the growing tissue and the wet mass of the extra tissue... I was really confused until I realized he was talking about the fetus. "Growing tissue"? Sometimes a fetus is just a fetus.

I can't believe how fast this semester has gone. It was just September... JUST. And for the first time ever... I don't want this semester to end. There are so many good things happening right now and as soon as I switch classes... all the good things will be over.

I am writing a research paper about Animal Wives. Yes, Animal Wives. It is a tale type and it is very dull to write about.

I wish it wasn't becoming winter so fast. I love Indian summers, when the summer seamlessly drifts into fall and the world glows gold. I want to wear linen dresses and green wellies by the pond, catching dragonflies in a gossamer net and licking honey from the comb. And then string paper hearts from all the trees.

I got a flu shot yesterday and I am having very awful side effects - while stuck at school. I'm never getting a flu shot ever again. I'm probably allergic to the flu or something.

I started making my Christmas list.... three months ago. I always know exactly what I want. Christmas used to be so fun as a child, because it was always a surprise. I loved that feeling I got while looking at piles of gifts - it was the anticipation of diving into the unknown and coming out with fantastic new things that I had never seen before. (There was no internet so my world was very small. I thought you could only get things from the holiday edition of the Sear's catalog) My parents were so good at finding gifts for me - I always loved them but I never expected them. I think that's the nature of children's toys though. They have mass appeal. Now we are more specifically targeted. Though my taste hasn't gotten any less broad. My choice in gifts ranges from vintage owl statues to My Little Pony's to $100 cocktail rings and fancy dresses. My parents still surprise me sometimes, with the little things, and I don't know if I would want to go back to a time when I didn't get exactly what I want...

I stopped making my Halloween costume. I got so frusterated with it. What else can I do with several yards of lamb fur?

Somewhere a Clock is Ticking

Instead of being lavished with gifts upon my arrival home from New York, I was introduced to my family's latest acquisition - a grandfather clock. My father adores the clock - it runs a few minutes fast and there is no known remedy, so he set the rest of the clocks in the house to sync up with it.

There is nothing subtle about a grandfather clock - it has the time and wants the world to know. Every 15 minutes it chimes 1/4 of a song and on the hour it not only plays the whole song but it will also gong a corresponding number of times.

Living with this clock has to be handled with care; important conversations have to be timed around the clock. And you must never make a phone call at 12:00.

Tissue paper terror

I always feel like spending money when I'm upset, so I went shopping today. I bought a skirt, some notebooks, post-its, moisturizer and index tabs.... tomorrow I'm going out again for more office supplies and perhaps to Anthropologie, because I'm still a bit sad. I really, really, really love office supplies.

Last night I just got in my car and cried all the way home. I don't want to go to school, I just want to stay home baking macarons and making paper lanterns.

I hate liars and people who ignore conflicts.

I've come to a realization, but I have no one to tell it to. It's making me crazy.

HOLY CRAP

I have SO MUCH food to take to New York. Luke will get off in the city and I will still be on the bus eating.

Stuff White People Like

From the blog http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/, written by the author of the book by the same name.

#104 Girls with Bangs

"If you see a white woman and you are trying to figure out whether she is liked or just merely tolerated by white people, the best thing you can do is get a quick look at her haircut. It is a known fact that white people love women who wear their hair with bangs that hang straight down.

A number of very popular white women have worn this hairstyle including Joni Mitchell, Jane Birkin, Jenny Lewis and every girl ever photographed by Vice Magazine or the Cobrasnake. (Note: it is a good idea to familiarize yourself with these two things as they are both beloved by cool white people. Follow up note: these same things are hated by cooler white people).

Many people associate this type of haircut with children and people looking for the most efficient way to get hair out of their eyes. But for white people, this simple haircut makes a bold declaration by saying that the wearer is artistic, deep, and has probably dated a guy in a band you like. Of course, as with many things loved by white people, simple often means expensive and these haircuts usually cost upwards of $100.

It is essential for you to know this haircut is more than a mere fashion statement– it is an important cultural marking. Throughout the world, many cultures feature ceremonies to announce that a girl has become a woman. For white people, the haircut-with-bangs is an important symbol that a female has completed her transformation from a nerdy girl to a cool woman. In fact, if you went to high school with a nerdy white girl who moved to a big city, there is a good chance she will show up to your high school reunion with this haircut.

When you are introduced to a group of white people, it’s a good idea to befriend the girl with the bangs. She’s probably the most popular."

I find this to be mostly factual. Except for the part about being popular. And the part about being artistic.

I had a dream that Jolie, Justin, Luke, Ashton and I went to Mexico. We ended up having to solve a murder/perform an exorcism. Because someone sunk our blue convertible into the swamp. It involved dead ostriches in porta-potties, red Parmesan cheese, glowing spoons and fertility voodoo dolls. I woke up before we solved it though, ugh! One guy ate the cheese and died, so it wasn't him... I think once we found the voodoo dolls, we knew it wasn't the boy who shot the priest and were honing in on the bar owner.

I love dreams, they are the best.

There are many things I need to do before Luke and I go on our Grand Adventure™

1. Assemble a variety of New York appropriate outfits
2. Wash each outfit
3. Attempt to fit everything into two carry-on bags.
4. Once step 3 fails, convince Luke to let me use one of his two allotted bags.
5. Buy tiny shampoo bottles
6. Fill my Hello Kitty sandwich bags with bus snacks
7. Sharpen all my pencils
8. Charge everything electronic and remember to bring all their cords
9. Remind self to update blog so Jolie knows what we are doing at all times
10. Alter my Holga camera to take 35mm film, or buy the crazy film it requires
11. Put mo' money in my checking account. Also, try to remember PIN number...

Crap, I know there's more than that...

Horoscope don't fail me now

The past two times I've gone to Goodwill I've found the CUTEST shirts among the trash. Within the first couple things I lay my hands on. I must have some kind of gift.

I also bought some cute vintage dishes and found a pair of awesome Fire King mugs that I was just looking at this morning on Flickr/ebay - coincidence? If you said yes, you are wrong. It's because I'm awesome.

One is red and one is blue. I really do have old lady taste (owls)... but I just love mismatched dishes.

Now I just need my own apartment to put them in.

Once upon a time, in third grade...

I've been going through the slow process of cleaning out my room for about the past two months. In elementary school they set aside a portion of the school day for us to make an entry in our mandatory journals - I stumbled upon some of mine today. Here is an excerpt from my third grade journal:

April 24
"Birds are nice mammls."

Today I got stung by a wasp for the first time in my life. Then, after it was done stinging me, it bit me.

Nature has an odd sense of humor

http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2008/06/geoducks-are-strange.html
Great... info.. on that page.

This one's for you, Jolie

I just wanted to share this song... I think it it really expresses how I feeeeeel. It's like they looked into my heart and wrote about what they saw.

Calexico - Woven Birds
The plaza in the village
where mission bells used to ring
is now crumbled to a pile of stench and ruin
even the swallows have spring
all the blossoms are buried
‘neath the waste
out of the shadows grow hatred
along the corridor crawls fear
crushed by the promise of hope
that never returned
watched with a hawk’s trained eye
trees grow silent fruit
‘neath a suffering sky
those who have stayed, keep a flame
in memory of the fallen
and pass on the old rites despite the risk
but many more have left here
on mended broken wings
turning to see your reaction
a tear drop fills your eye
but you protest not to give up as give in
heading straight for the wreckage
picking up a shovel and a hoe
start putting back the bricks one by one
numbers come out of the woodwork
curious to see the rebirth
above the swollen clouds
a strange sound fills the air
a silence never heard
falling like blessed rain
and the swallows return
as the mission bells ring

This week is my pre-exam week, exam week. As in, the week I have midterm exams right before the week I have final exams. I cannot begin to tell you how unhappy this makes me.

I can't wait until this semester is over so I can have my life back.

Also, I have not seen Oswald in ages. Mostly on purpose.

Well now there's an idea...

http://www.halolz.com/2008/04/02/did-you-know/

Egg laying mammals? Yes please.

I saw a journal entry from this deviant: http://pelicanh.deviantart.com/ who does nudes that I'm sure you have seen. Anyways, the beginning of his journal said this:

'When my phone rang, I was sorta pleased to hear Charlene on the other end of the line. I say "sorta" because although she is a BEAUTIFUL model, has a lovely body, and moves quite well in front of the camera..... she can be... uh....odd. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE odd, but I have to be in the mood for it. You don't ALWAYS want to go to the zoo to see a platypus, ya know. Sometimes you just wanna stick with dogs and cats.'

And I said to myself: WTH. I would ALWAYS chose to see a platypus over a dog or cat.

"I've never held a white-collar job. Apparently, most white-collar jobs require some sort of schooling, and to me, the only thing more dull than a white-collar job is schooling."
-Amy Sedaris


When something is fake, people want it to look real. And when something is real, people want it to look fake. I was thinking about cake, but it applies to loads of things. (Hint: this is a picture of a fake cake. It sells for $100)

I want to make something with googly eyes.

Lost in Riven

I am recently obsessed with Myst. When we got our first computer when I was about 7, my dad bought the original Myst and loved it. He played it all the time while my brother and I watched him and added in our (useless) suggestions for a puzzle. This is a great memory for me for a few reasons: 1. I've never seen my dad play ANY other video game of any kind. 2. I really looked up to my dad when he solved puzzles that were far beyond my comprehension level. He was like a superhero.

I don't remember if he ever finished the game, but sometime after he stopped playing I tried it. And failed.

Anyways, I was remembering this the other week and decided I should try again. So I got Myst II and III (they sell them insanely cheap) and apparently I am still not clever enough for the game. Either way, it's fun, and if I mess around with the puzzles enough they seem to work out. Another plus, they are incredibly escapist which allows me a small amount of time when I'm not full of anxiety.

Crap, I was going to write something else. What the hell was it...

This shit is important. Gotta get it right.

Today at the candy store we had a brief discussion of Disney princesses and their heritage (REMEMBER JOLIE?! I don't know why I don't just address these to you) I said Mulan was not a princess, because I've thought about this before (clearly) and that she was instead an emperor's daughter or something and we agreed that it was the equivalent to a princess. Well, I was lying through my teeth. I knew it didn't sound quite right and it's not. In fact, we were wrong about most of them. XD Ariel and Snow White didn't just marry princes, they are actually princesses by birth. This is a list of the 8 girls most commonly referred to as the "Disney Princesses" and their link to royalty, because I have nothing better to do.

Snow White - Born a princess (her father is the king by default after his wife's aunt (the queen) and his wife (the new queen) die, but she runs away to the dwarves because of the stepmother situation), marries a prince with no name.
Aurore - Born a princess, marries Prince Phillip.
Ariel - Born a princess (Yes, she is. Her father was King Triton even though they are mermaids), also marries Prince Eric. A land prince.
Belle - Born a commoner (filthy), marries a prince.
Cinderella - Commoner, marries a prince

This is where it gets tricky.
Jasmine - Born to a sultan, which is a ruler so we will call this an equivalent, because I like Jasmine; she has a pet Tiger. Marries a street rat.
Pocahontas - Daughter to a chief (similar enough) and never gets married but does hook up with John Smith AND John Rolfe.
Mulan - Born to a war veteran and marries a captain in the army.
No way is she a princess.

NOW YOU KNOW.

I just realized I can post things without titles! :O I wish I had know this before... because I hate titles. Titles are the hardest part of writing, as far as I'm concerned. Not just with blogs either; stories, papers, etc. I can never get them to sound interesting, but not cheesy, and still relate to what I've written without being too straightforward or boring.

Outside someone is yelling at their dog. She yells at her dog every day. Why, why, why. They play fetch with a tennis ball starting at around 7:30 - 8, but as far as I can tell he is very obedient and always comes back. And as such, I could do without the yelling.

Regarding analogies

Instead of sleeping last night, I started writing. Most of it is the typical lame drivel that I write when I'm upset because even though it's embarrassing to read later, it makes me feel better when there is no one else to talk to (which is always) and sometimes it keeps me from actually saying things to people and making a bad situation worse. Anyways, I came up with a really delightful analogy comparing friends to unicycles. However I'm not sure what sort of blogging rules there are regarding analogies when they are vaguely related to the only person that reads your blog... It's a tasteful analogy, but analogies tend to seem like you're beating around the bush without saying what you feel. I love my friends, but sometimes I feel like they don't know much about me at all - or want to. But I want to be able to say how I feel so it's not so surprising when I start having emotions other than "happy". Since happy is something I am usually only pretending to be anyways. Lauren usually understands, but her method is to leave me alone. I think someday it might be nice to have someone say "Are you okay?" when I am upset instead of "what the fuck is wrong with you" since of course, I do not know the answer to that.



http://muxtape.com/
MIXTAPES GALORE. I need to peruse this site and find some new music because I've listened to every song I have about 100 million times and it's starting to get boring.

Charming Oswald

Lately I have noticed that there is this boy who is in the same everything as me. I don't know his name yet, so we will call him Oswald. He first garnered my attention in a study group review session for Chemistry where he kept watching me. So of course, I avoided eye contact like my life depended on it. I'm very shy, so when people (guys) pay attention to me I often go out of my way to avoid them.

Until I started noticing him everywhere. Obviously he's in my study group and Chemistry class, but he's also in the same Zoology class as me, has his exams in the same room, etc. Now, because I have Zoology exams at the same time as Chemistry, I have to take my Chemistry exams earlier with about 10 other people including... Oswald.

Avoidance had been working well, until yesterday. I was waiting for the Chemistry exam and listening to a conversation between two boys who had gotten there before me, you know, minding my own business when Oswald walks in and I mentally freak out. I had no idea he was going to be here as well. To my surprise, he walked up to me and started talking to me like we were old friend and... well, it wasn't weird at all. We had a delightful conversation. He seems really sweet and charming, but also a bit goofy which is obviously a must. Plus, he has dark red hair. Awesome.

Unfortunately (maybe not) I am already stuck in one hopeless dead-end crush which takes up an immense amount of pathetic daydreaming time, so I clearly do not have time for another one.

Behold my maternal instincts.

When teenagers use "but it's my body" as an argument to get a tattoo/piercing, the only acceptable response as a parent is "Yeah, well I made it for you. Sit your ass down."

I will be the best mother ever.


In other news: I have obtained the key to the attic in my apartment building. I peeked through the door and saw a tiny stairway with a comically low ceiling, but didn't go any farther yet. It reminds me of Alice in Wonderland.

I give and I give and then life kicks me in the face

My dad has basically already decided that he's kicking me out of my apartment. He's asking my opinion on it, but he's already planning on showing it to another tenant who needs a place by July and since our leases end in August and I am his daughter, it's real easy for him to move me on out of there and stick me back at home. His main reason is money: since Lauren is moving out it would be double the cost to keep me there by myself. I appreciate this and I would love to be less of a burden on the wallet but aside from getting a job, which I would have no time for, or finding some roommate off the street to live with me, living at home is my only option. My parents think this will be wonderful; we will make sacrificies but think of the MONEY WE'LL SAVE. I think that this will not work. I believe it is high time for a pro-con list.

Pro: I would have access to a car everyday instead of weekends
Con: I would NOT be able to use said car to drive downtown to class, I would have to a. take the bus b. get dropped off and picked up by my parents or c. learn to fly. My brother, who goes to school practically down the street and can easily be picked up or dropped off, would get the car. In my humble opinion, this is utter bullshit.
Con(cont): If I have to take the bus... here is what will inevitably happen: I'm going to end up not going to class. Often.

Pro: My meals would be prepared for me, I would have a million channels of television, I'll have a sewing machine again, etc, etc
Con: Constant distractions. Living with three other people is also very loud (especially in the basement) and it will be hard to get anything done.

Con: I will have to live in the basement, which will have a door put in so we can pretend it's a bedroom. The walls are brown and the carpet is brown. And did I mention that it's the basement?
Pro: It has a fireplace.

Pro: I love my parent's house.
Con: I love my apartment :(

Con: I will never be able to come and go as I please and I will never be able to skip class without them knowing.

Con: If I go out and come home late, I'll have to be super quiet and they will know exactly what time it is

Con: I won't be able to have people over even if I wanted to

Con: I'll have to do chores for four people instead of one.

Pro: They will have more money to spend on meeeee
Con: They probably won't

Pro: I will have company when I am feeling sad
Con: I'll always have to be around three other people at times when I prefer to be alone

Con: Most of the cons haven't been too bad, but this one is a serious issue and may be the only reason I don't want to move back home. My dad has a horrible raging temper. He always has, but once I left the house and came back only on weekends I didn't have to deal with it anymore. But EVERY WEEKEND there is always a fight. Screaming, yelling, throwing things, stomping around the house and they last forever. These always revolve around my brother, but I know if I come back I will not only have to cringe through those but they will start being about me as well. I'm not sure if I can deal with this. :|

In summation, I love being at home on weekends (moderation is key) but I've had a taste of freedom and I need to SPREAD MY WINGS.

Must... resist... urge... to drop...

It is almost exam time and that means.... THAT'S RIGHT! It means it's time for me to start thinking about what my grade will be if I fail an exam. Trigonometry will be the death of me. I was super good at it in high school. I got a ridiculously high grade in the class... like a 98% or something. And somehow, I never even remember learning these things. Are they creating new mathematical formulas and slipping them into the curriculum?

Anyways, last exam I left the test room thinking I had failed and after a week of depressing and wallowing we got the tests back and I magically received an astounding 99 points out of 120 with the average being somewhere around 61. I don't know how this happened, but I don't see it happening again.

So, short story long, I will need to justify my bombing this next one by 1. remembering I did good on the first and 2. committing myself completely to doing well on the next ones. And that is how I do college.

Couch =/= Bed

Sleep, sleep, sleep. Why can't I do it.

Did you know dolphins could DO this?

Never in my life have I desired to be a dolphin, UNTIL NOW.


Dolphin Play Bubble Rings - Click here for this week’s top video clips

Kind of interesting

http://www.hemmy.net/2006/04/26/disney-animation-reuse/

I wish it were not winter.

Despite the fact that I rarely go swimming, partly because I don't really like it and partly because I don't have many opportunities, I have this compulsion to buy swimsuits. I have several that I don't wear either because I stopped liking them right after I bought them (what is wrong with me?) or I just... never go swimming. And yet, I want more. more more more.
Shopping for them at Victoria's Secret is also difficult because these women are not normal and you can't try them on. Anyways, I enjoy posts that are mainly pictures so that is what this is. Some suits I like. (and some that confuse me)

(I really like this one, but my boobs do not look like that. And I think that's a big part of why the suit looks so good...)

(What is going on here?! But I like that it looks shiny and wet. I wouldn't ever have to get in the water)

(This one is basically a push up bra disguised as an awesome bikini)

(Standard. Boring. Will make me look funny shaped.)

(I LOVE BOWS. bows bows bows bows)

(loooooooooooooooooooooooooove. Also the most expensive. CURSE MY EXQUISITE TASTE)

I'm sick of mystery related titles

At my new job, I average anywhere from 17 to 23 dollars an hour. And that's with only 70% of my tips (cause I'm new). Annnnnd, nope, still not happy. The old saying is true.

ALSO, if someone can figure out why I attract such losers, let me know. Mostly stoners, and not just people that smoke, I'm talking about people that ALWAYS reek of pot as if that's all they do. And it probably is because they don't have jobs. Or go to school. People that are going no where in life. And about 96% of the time, it's white guys that wish they were black. I got this message on Myspace:
"u don't know me but anyways whats up beautiful.i saw u went to the same high school as me and thought u were the most beautiful girl ive ever seen. "
And not only could that not possibly be true, but if you want to get in my pants you're going to have to be more creative than that.

The Riddle of the Internet Meme

So, I fail at photoshop, but I did this anyways. Make your own CD cover omg. I edited my background image a teeny tiny bit to add some blue and pink colors, because pictures of roads are beyond boring.

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4.Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result as a comment in this post. Also, pass it along in your own journal because it's more amusing that way.




THIS IS MINE. I think Danish Gambit is actually quite a cool name for a band. If it is a band of nerds. For those WONDERING a Danish Gambit is an opening chess move.

With a fancy cover like this, the Danish Gambits sure will be superstars in no time!

The Secret of the Visble Horse

(From: http://www.flickr.com/photos/superjunk/2145954060/)

I want a Visible Horse real bad. Vaguely creepy, but really awesome at the same time. Perfect for the animal/science nerd that I am. They also have a Visible Dog, Trout, Man and Woman, but who cares about people? I am all about the trout too, but it looks like it's harder to find. They're also absurdly expensive for something you have to assemble yourself, but if I can find a good deal on eBay this is so mine.

The Mystery of the Memorial Luncheon

My grandfather's memorial service was on Friday. It was a really great service and there were a lot of old pictures of my grandpa with his friends from the army, his children and his wife. There were two readings done by my cousins and then my aunt, his oldest daughter, had a little speech to give that was really great because I had never heard their memories of their dad before.

My grandpa, Gordon, had Alzheimer's disease for the past 8 or 9 years, so I didn't see him much those years and he slowly forgot who we all were. It's incredibly sad to watch someone lose control of their own memories and become a different person, but it's good to remember what he was like before the disease because he was a really great man. He was a Captain in World War II and when he came back he married my grandma Peggy (who passed away in 1995) and together they had five kids. He loved traveling and adventure, a lot like I do and I remember that he really loved me and his other four grandchildren. He passed away Thursday December 27th and it didn't even hit me until week later which is the first time I cried for him. I loved him, and I will miss him.

After the service we went to my aunt's house for a catered lunch and watched some old home videos from their childhood. Old videos are really cool - no sound, lens flares, muted colors; none of them are perfect but that makes them doubly cool.

The Case of the Relationship Curse Fandango

I'm going to write in this damn thing if it kills me. That is my New Years Resolution - write a crap blog about crap topics.

On the topic of resolutions, everything is looking good vis a vis the whole 'relationship curse' fandango. Seeing as the only boys in my life are 1. related to me, 2. spoken for, or 3. imaginary. Of course, the first few years of the curse they sprang up out of no where in the first few weeks of January and this past year it didn't begin until February-ish, so I must remain watchful.

I hypothesize that this past years cycle of the curse was so awful and tragic that the curse may be put to rest altogether. Especially since it has made me so cold and skeptical that I'm really not fit for any sort of emotional attachment anyways and boys can probably sense this. Not that I wouldn't give it all another shot, since it's got to work out eventually (right? RIGHT?!) but it really is depressing being in a relationship and knowing it will end in a few months. Que est le point? Besides having a fab, sad story of a cursed life. I could write a novel or something.

It's also weird that since I have a new group of pals, no one really knows the story of last spring and therefore do not know my inner suffering and pain and so on. Er, not really pain or suffering. I'm fully over the whole ordeal, but it does explain a lot about my view on relationships. That being said, I prefer people not to know. Because telling the story is so long and dull for me. And really why dwell on it? I have more important things going on in my brain. Like my grandpa's memorial service, which is tomorrow and requires me to wake up at the crack of dawn. Details forthcoming.